Bright and early at 8:30 AM today, I had my first ever operation, one that actually involved stitches. Nothing major, just a surgery to take out an impacted wisdom tooth, and the other molar above it. As I sat there on the dentist’s chair, I had my hands on my stomach but I could still feel my heartbeat from there! The words ‘big needle’, ’struggle’, ‘drill’, ‘huge hole’ and other similar terms used by my friends to describe their experiences were running a marathon in my head.

But a bit over an hour and a wee amount of pain later, I was on my way out the door with two souvenirs: a frozen ice balloon held up against my left cheek, and this little pink container over here. –>

My surgery in 6 easy steps:

Step 1. Anaesthesia: The first installment
First is the topical anaesthesia, a strawberry-ish flavored toothpaste-like gel. I was okay at that stage–but not until the dentist pulled out an extra huge and scary needle and started aiming for my mouth. She gave me a tip though: Say the alphabet backwards in my head. I usually can recite this pretty quickly, but for some reason, I got all tangled up in the K and J portion, which got my mind off the needle. Gargling with solution finished off this step.

Step 2. A bit of cleaning (Optional)
Since I haven’t been to her clinic for so long, she decided to do some free cleaning while waiting for the anaesthesia to kick in.

Step 3. Anaesthesia: The second installment
This time, my dentist’s husband (who’s also a dentist, not just a random husband) facilitated my second encounter with Mr. Jumbo Needle.

Step 4. Going in for the kill
After all the preparations, it was time to take out the impacted tooth. I had no idea what exactly what they were doing, what mattered more to me was that I felt nothing. It was just frightening to actually hear all the cracking, scraping, drilling and gurgling going on inside my mouth. Basically, the only pain I felt was due to the dentist pulling my mouth to one side for an hour or so: I genuinely felt that my nose was going to be permanently off-center after the surgery.
Another thing that kept me pre-occupied was listening to the marital issues of my dentist and her husband, which they were discussing ever so casually as they tinkered inside my mouth. There was talk of which DVDs to rent next, what gift they were going to give this friend of theirs, another patient… Hey guys, there’s a bloody mouth in front of you, let’s focus shall we?!

Step 5. Stitch it up
This is the first time ever that anyone’s ever treated me like a bag or a dress or any piece of cloth for that matter, so it was really weird seeing a thread and needle going in and out of my mouth. It came complete with the snipping because they also cut out more of my gums. I have a grand total of eight stitches.

Step 6. Take out any other tooth/teeth that may cause further pain or harm (Optional)
In my case, they had to extract the upper wisdom tooth as well even if it grew normally, because if they didn’t, I’d end up chewing on the hole where my old tooth used to be. They told me that would be painful, and I took their word for it. Basically they repeated Steps 1, 3 and 4, but no sutures this time.

After the surgery, I was surprised to find myself feeling very light-headed and shaky (not to mention semi-drooling). The dentist was giving me advice and reminders, prescribing my meds, but I’m not sure if I can remember all of them because I was really quite dazed. But I’m sure he said that I can’t engage in any strenuous activity or late nights for a week, and that my face will be swollen for 3-4 days at the minimum.

So now, life will come to a semi-standstill after a blur of the past weeks’ busy schedule. for a few days, I’ll be bumming around in all my Ms. Fat-Cheeks glory, probably with an off-center nose and an immobile lower lip.

Ah, yes, picture perfect.